Aroha's Birth Story
We were so sure we wanted a baby, and so last year in June 2019 after a beautiful conversation and realisation we saw the perfect date to conceive on our holiday in Cambodia and we knew in that moment itself that the seed was planted. There was an instant divine affirmation shown to us in that moment, on that day. When we were back in India, we took a home pregnancy test and there they were, the two pink lines. In a few days we took another one and the lines got darker. So many questions arose, mainly about who was going to bring our child into the world. And through various signs and sources we were led to Phoenix hospital in GK 1. We made an appointment with Dr. Urvashi - a brilliant example of a human being , both in her work and persona. And our 40 week journey began. We took all the tests, ate right, exercised enough, rested well, said no to unnecessary things, avoided stress, hydrated sufficiently and overcame negativity of all kinds as a couple together. We were going to do everything possible to bring our little one into a world of peace, love and harmony. But it is true, God tests us in mysterious ways.
Our original plan was to have a water birth, but as life would have it we were told about my low lying placenta that hadn’t moved beyond 1 cm from my cervix all the way till the end of my pregnancy. So having a water birth was out, a natural birth was then our next best option. But at every appointment our Doctor’s and the ultrasonologist’s concern was if I had seen any spotting or bleeding. As the months progressed our baby found her way down into the right position but her head was too close to the placenta and that was causing stress on her soft tissue. As first time parents to be , we were very concerned, the baby’s safety was the most important thing to us and after a final ultrasound in week 39 , both the experts came to a decision that they didn't want me to labour at home since there was a higher risk of per vaginum bleeding. After sharing all the information with us, and asking our preference at all times we agreed to a guarded induction. We were not super thrilled about the idea. It was going to be a bunch of synthetic hormones that would bring on labour earlier than it naturally would. Even though it was a public holiday due to Holi we decided on being induced that night, hoping it would be quieter at the hospital in general. We went to the mall on 9th night to prepare our list of things for the hospital , I even felt like having a burger, believing it to be a celebratory meal, or probably stress eating. As soon as we got back home things changed, something told me we’d go into labour without the induction.
On 10th morning we decided to go on a morning walk with family , the weather was gorgeous, sunbeams shining through the myriad of trees, peacocks, parrots and squirrels dancing into their morning routine. We made a prayer at the shiv temple in the middle of the jungle park, things took a dramatic shift from there. Every twenty minutes I found the need to stop , holding onto my dad’s arm and move my hips in circles in a soft squat, I knew the course of things was going to be different from what we planned. After two hours moving with the pain in the park, the contractions picked in tempo and intensity. Post 2 in the afternoon things got wild , the surges got very strong with only 7-8 minutes between each. But I knew that I would only head to the hospital if the surges followed a 5-1-1 pattern. 5pm, after labouring at home for 9 hours I knew I couldn’t bear it any longer, baby was coming! And surprisingly on the same day we planned the induction! But ofcourse nobody was expecting us at the hospital before midnight and being holi the hospital was super quiet. As I laboured in the hospital room, my parents and husband looked on, being my strength. My husband even suffered scars and some physical abuse. I was going to have the natural birth, the second best option. Until things took a turn, my body started shivering and shaking, and my baby’s heart rate started dropping. Nurses and doctors attended to me but all I wanted was to see my doctor.
A few minutes past 6 she arrived and boy was I relieved to see her. She came in with her calm demeanor and everything felt so much better. She immediately sensed something was wrong. She questioned the staff on the decelerating heartbeat and seemed concern after which she manually checked me and there it was, I was bleeding, which is what everyone was concerned about. Our baby was under acute fetal distress with her head pressing into the placenta. The pain got more unbearable with every passing second. I was losing energy and we had to make a call. Dr Urvashi made a quick decision to move us to the OT and everything after that is more like a blur. I was asked to hunch my back for the anesthesia to be injected into my spine, and I had no control over my body. It seemed I forgot how to do a basic thing like hunching. The contractions kept hitting hard till the stuff hit. My eyes stayed open and I kept asking for my husband, I even remember asking my doctor if this made me less of a mommy and she so kindly said " ofcourse not ".
I don't think the doctors were very keen on having my husband shoot in the OT but somehow he made his way and they complied although warning him like a school kid! As the c-section reached mid way I was told we made the right decision as our baby had pooped a huge amount, probably during the labour distress. It would then be suctioned out of her mouth. As the operation proceeded we heard a loud cry, like an opera singer and both my husband and I were in shock since that was definitely a good sign. She was covered in poop and blood and immediately taken to be cleaned. There was poop in her mouth that was being cleared as well. At that moment it had been a good few minutes since my husband was still clicking pictures. And it struck me, I asked “babu is it a boy or girl” and guess what his reply was “I don't know, I didn't see”. He was so engrossed between documentation and concern for his baby he didn't care what gender our baby was. “Its a girl” the doctor said, amused at us for not asking earlier. I guess after all the distress all we wanted was a happy, healthy baby.
Though, in our hearts deep down inside we knew our life would be complete if we had a little girl. Out came Aroha with her warrior/ mermaid / monkey spirit and changed our lives forever. It's already been two weeks today, and amidst the current situation of the world it feels like time went by real fast. It is a time for contemplation, to ponder on things as a race, making sure that our actions benefit all creations, not simply our own gain. Having a child can rock your world, can topple things in a blink of an eye and it does make you feel like you are more responsible for this world that we are created by and are creating. In these hard times, all we can wish is for Aroha to be safe, a feeling we’re sure all parents have. Isn’t every human somebody’s child? If we could extend this feeling to all beings in the world we probably wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.
We hope as time passes Aroha learns these precious lessons and chooses to be a beacon of light in dark times. Our little family sends all our love and prayers to the children of the world. Our tomorrow lies in your hands, but first we hope we can do our part in bettering your present.
Words by Meher Malik
Photography by Ozzie Sai
Photography by Ozzie Sai
